YOUR FIRST FATHER'S DAY? HOW COME?

My father loves me!!!

My father:

When my father new I was in my mother’s womb, he was so happy.  He took time off his job to go with her to every single doctor’s visit.  The visit he liked the most was that of the day he was able to see me in a monitor, “it’s a girl” the technician announced and according to my mom, who started to cry and laugh at the same time due to joy, my father was exited and happy to have his first girl.

My boyfriend:

I was educated for a different kind of future, but I became pregnant, at 15, my boyfriend, 19, left me on my own to deal with it.  I was terrified, I didn’t know how to tell my parents.  I knew better, and abortion was not an option.  

HOW COME, I continued with the idea that he was “the man” for me?  

My father:

Came from work every single day, happy to see me.  Now I understand how tired he most have been after work, but he took time to play with me, read books to me, feed me and kissed me good night.

HOW COME, I waisted my time over the phone with my boyfriend to convince him that he needed to “step up to the plate” and assume his responsibilities.  I also wasted my energy, and tears every time I knew he was “out there” hanging, with other girls, his age.

My father: 

Divided the responsibilities with my mother and some days took me to school, to the dentist's appointments, immunization appointments, so my mother didn’t have to cry with me, and together they attended my school shows.

My boyfriend:

Almost four months into the pregnancy and he was still hiding from my parents.

HOW COME, I continued calling him, telling him to show his ass up at my house.  I begged him to be a father.

My father:

Agreed with my mom to invite my boyfriend over to see what the hell he have to say.  I was so happy that day, I had him with me, we will be a family now.  A new kind of trust from my family was open for us.  I felt it was approved, finally.

My boyfriend:

Fooled all of us, with his costume for the occasion, his best manners and his words full of shit.  My mother never believe him.

HOW COME, I accepted his nothing.  He, a 19 year old dropped out, no job, no respect for his own family, expert in video games, young girls, lies, sneaker and hats collection... what the hell I was thinking.  Do I like cute bad boys and loosers?  

My father:

Contributed to my mother’s idea of instead of a “sweet 16” I could have a heck of a baby shower fiesta.  It was so beautiful, my friends and family came over.  Gifts, photos, food... my parents made me feel so special!!!  

My boyfriend:

At least helped in the clean up!!!

HOW COME, I just wanted to have him near me, with me, like those dolls I have in my room that I don’t play with anymore, but are mine, and I still want them there in the corner collecting dust.

My father:

Always, together with mom made sure I had all I needed.  He was and still goes the extra mile to make sure I move on in life.  

My boyfriend:

Didn’t make an effort to find a job, in order to buy a can of formula.  Was not able to help me care for the baby in order for me to go back to school, where he took me from.

HOW COME, I'm allowing this to happen!!!  Expecting so much from a person that have never shown any signs of self respect.

My father:

Still show so much respect for my mother.  My mother makes herself be respected.  My parents had their arguments, hard headed people I have to say, but my father NEVER touched my mom.  I never experience my mother been abused by my father or anybody else.

My boyfriend:

I allowed him to physically abuse me.  This secret that scared me so much, I told my parents and family.  

HOW COME, I allowed so much disrespect, so much humiliation, so many lies, so many false hopes, so much waiting for nothing?

My father:

Still there for me, together with mom.  They still believe in the tools they game me to build up my life properly.  Their strength before all the troubles I caused: running away, cutting classes, my fake stories to my teachers, to my parents, I even said I was not pregnant but I can’t mess with my mother... they still there for me!!!

My boyfriend:

I’m moving on, with my daughter and with the ones that love and respect me, my family.

HOW COME...

It’s Father’s Day... BUT THIS IS MY FATHER, FATHER’S DAY!!!

Report/Expression by Coqueta
® 2012

Here with my dad in the ER, he is making fun of the way I was crying after I closed the car's door with my fingers in it.  Photo taken by mom.